Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
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