How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
