She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
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