he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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