I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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