I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
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