She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
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