I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Randomize