super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Just high enough for therapy.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Randomize
