your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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