I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
