This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
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