If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Randomize
