I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
i've created a new STD.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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