mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Randomize
