I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize