nut hugger
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
