This is not my ceiling
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
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