bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Randomize
