can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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