Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
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