She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
