since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
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