Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
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