i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
