if i can run in heels then i can drive
okay pat passed out under dana's car
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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