one might say we're banned from that church
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
