i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
