So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Randomize
