If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
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