your room smells of hookers.
And success
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
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