oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize
