thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Randomize
