went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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