I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
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