Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
God, you're like boner-b-gone
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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