I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Randomize
