Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Randomize
