You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
