I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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