i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
