I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
