Three words: puerto rican gang bang
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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