Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Randomize
