and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
