Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
too bad you live with your parents still
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Randomize
