My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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