Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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