Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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