Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Randomize