Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Randomize
