I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
Threesome in a minivan. New low
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Randomize
