Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Randomize
