member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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