guys are only as good as the porn they watch
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Randomize