she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Randomize