You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
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