Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
