she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
