So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
