Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
