I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
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